Wednesday, 9 March 2016

Skinny Love

It's been exactly 2 years since i last penned down my thoughts on this page! what a coincidence in timing :D

A shout out... i'm turning thirty this year! XXX, 29 + 1, dirty thirty... whatever the naming conventions, i'm entering into a new phase of my life. a little apprehensive but excited at the same time. i'm finally an adult (i think), though i don't feel like one on the inside. At work, in my meetings and all my conversations I feel like I'm merely putting on a show and front to hide the little girl in me, the real me. But looking at my circumstances, yes i am an adult, financially stable, wrinkles forming around my eyes, skin starting to sag, a crown full of grey hair ... don't get me started. haha.

Well work has taken up majority of my time and energy, (but of course still serving the Lord and loving Him :)) I've grown so much these past 2 years, I thank God for His grace and favor. I look back and all I am reminded of is His faithfulness and goodness. Everything else and all other circumstances pales in comparison to who He is and what He has done for me.

Skinny love to a parallel feeling... and parallel thoughts

Signing out, early day tomorrow and stressful week year ahead!

Saturday, 8 March 2014

hello march

it's been a whirlwind of a year ... 2013, though memories are forever.

i've embarked on an exciting journey this 2014, i truly believe the best is yet to come and i'm eager for the future to unveil. i'm the bright-eyed sophie once again :D

loves birthday celebrations, don't they remind you again of how much and how many people do care about you? thank God for friends & family :)

going to bed grateful for all You have done, and looking forward to the experiences You have in-stored for me in the road ahead. truly You are more than enough for me...

Sunday, 30 June 2013

let go

forgiveness is the most unnatural of human emotions. A conscious choice we need to make.

so often the fear of losing paralyzes us,  i've decided to be a strong believer of "we win some, we lose some". there is only so much we can hold on to, we let go, to let in. don't be afraid to lose.

Saturday, 4 May 2013

in the rubble

we spend our lives building multiple forts, facades, yet each time along the way various walls crack, collapse. sometimes we choose to bring them down, other times He breaks them. yet there are times when we let people in and they tear them down.

in the rubble of our broken ways, of our vices, of our sins, we rebuild again.

Monday, 11 March 2013

Teaching my School of Thoughts

yes, i am still in school. my thoughts have never graduated from school & never will! Always so much to learn. My teachers? Mr G, Mr J & Mr H.S

Researchers have discovered that the heart has it's own "brain"; 100 million neurons that communicates to the actual brain.

when it gets overwhelming, when our heart feels but doesn't think, we are moved to make choices more often than not - are not the best, but vary in degrees.

everything we say or do has a purpose, a definitive meaning, initiates a direction - consciously or subconsciously.

my rebellious heart & obedient head need to communicate better this year. So far, scores have not been anywhere near distinction. this student needs to work extra hard.

Psalm 111:10
The fear of the Lord is the beginning of wisdom; all who follow his precepts have good understanding.  

Friday, 4 January 2013

somewhere only i know

i can't keep what i can't afford to lose.
to have it with the possibility of losing or not to have it at all?

sometimes my favourite part of the day is when i'm taken to somewhere only i know, yet involuntary.
a place where anything could happen.
where my deepest thoughts come alive, my dreams fulfilled, only but fleeting moments.

good night :)

Wednesday, 26 December 2012

love a luxury

i decided to give my thoughts a little more freedom and space to run, apart from inside my head.

so here they go running wild & free with a tad of restraint...
a little pensive this morning, perhaps the year is coming to a close, perhaps this was not the easiest Christmas holiday.

today this phrase discreetly appeared in my head "love is a luxury". i toyed with this idea, what it meant. what it meant to me.

my mind like a labyrinth, i searched frantically for the path that would lead to enlightenment.
to no avail, all i found were countless routes that would lead to a variation of answers.
thus i chose what i wanted to believe.

love is a commodity, a luxurious one.
everybody needs love (some form of it), a necessity to keep sane, to feel alive.
we covet after it, an indulgence, that which we take comfort and pleasure.
some find what they're looking for, some search throughout eternity but never discover it.
we want more when we find it, yet when we lose it, we tell ourselves that a minuscule portion of that which was lost would suffice. how ironic. how precious.

its value? invaluable.
but someone first had to pay an invaluable price for it - salvation, kinship, friendship; a mother to her child, a husband to his wife, a ruler to his people...

i realized equality does not exist and never will, for we are flawed.
love given or taken cannot be measured.
you might only know who took the first step, who first paid the price and thereafter will be no end.
love knows no bounds.
love resides in eternity

Monday, 19 November 2012

The "R"s of Life

sometimes i stop. pretend i don't actually exist (so i don't give myself so much pressure) and re-evaluate everything under my knowledge umbrella (limited obviously). Reflect, Reminisce - perhaps get overwhelmed by Regret & Remorse for just a few moments then contemplate how i should Restore, Respond or simply Resign & just Relax.

Lately i've been really Relishing solitary drives down ECP, with the windows down and blasting the car stereo to my favourite songs...

On a side note, 2012 is coming to a close, looking forward to a brand new start in 2013 - Everything will be alright, doesn't seem so right now, but i believe, i know so. Yes it will be.

Wednesday, 24 October 2012

shake it out

Florence and the Machine
Regrets collect like old friends
Here to relive your darkest moments
I can see no way, I can see no way
And all of the ghouls come out to play

And every demon wants his pound of flesh
But I like to keep some things to myself
I like to keep my issues strong
It's always darkest before the dawn

And I've been a fool and I've been blind
I can never leave the past behind
I can see no way, I can see no way
I'm always dragging that horse around

And our love is pastured such a mournful sound
Tonight I'm gonna bury that horse in the ground
So I like to keep my issues strong
But it's always darkest before the dawn


And it's hard to dance with a devil on your back
So shake him off

I am done with my graceless heart
So tonight I'm gonna cut it out and then restart
Cause I like to keep my issues strong
It's always darkest before the dawn


And given half the chance would I take any of it back
It's a fine romance but it's left me so undone
It's always darkest before the dawn


Sunday, 29 July 2012

more is never enough

yet sometimes little is too much

Sunday, 3 June 2012

leap of faith

in the still of the night, i allow the songs of Ed Sheeran & Jason Mraz to interrupt the deafening silence. Feels good to have their company; enjoying what's left of the weekend :)

i've been moving to quickly, without allowing my heart to catch up with my head. time for "self-check". There must be more to life, my life in Christ.

Being in church doesn't mean we lead perfect, sinless lives. Spent 2 hours of ministry time helping out after Pastor Mike's service on Saturday. Was especially touched by one lady's courage whom i was praying for - to admit the sin she committed, to share the fear that gripped her heart, the shame that plagued her life, and her desperation for a breakthrough. Together, we stood in the presence of God, cried out for His grace, healing power and love that overcomes all circumstances. The size of our sins, the situations we're in do not matter, we all need God the same.

Lord, I need you.

Wednesday, 21 September 2011

h a p p y . b i r t h d a y . s o p h i e

i'm officially a quarter of a century old!

i have missed you bloggy

i'm alive :)

Tuesday, 17 May 2011

it is random

it's late. quiet moments like this ... i embrace. i tell myself the world has come to a temporary halt (for everyone's asleep).

i keep my itunes on shuffle mode, because i like that it surprises me by playing my next favourite song (cheap thrill i know).

i create as many possible outcomes of situations in my mind as fast as i can think, to prepare myself for what's to come next. it has to be one of the "options" right? (wrong)

sometimes when i drive to the work, i imagine i'm heading somewhere else. don't they say it's the journey that's more important than the destination?

when i was young i was determined that i could count the number of stars in the sky,  because i thought they followed me wherever i went without realising wherever i went they were there (first - it's the sky that they've made their home).

i want to write cards for hallmark when i'm old & retired, hoping its content will reach out and touch like-minded ones

i think love is more than a feeling but it's also a choice

life's full of "its". random ones.

and now it's time for bed...

Tuesday, 1 March 2011

my favourite girl

Brunch at Prive :)

Her radiant smile

and hers too :)

what was on our plates?

what's brunch without champagne?

ordered a cake from Flor, and they misspelled Sling... (Fling?!? -.-")

 but the strawberry shortcake was heavenly, so they are forgiven... hehe

new additions to the Tan family :)

Happy 25th Birthday Sling!

cheers to many more birthdays with you love!

Saturday, 5 February 2011

and so i tap my feet & twirl around

i really miss dancing classical ballet. it used to be sunday evening ballet classes,
but now it's the occasional Friday night dancing to the tunes of above & beyond, tiesto, guetta
(& God forbid even Pitbull)...
haha stark contrast eh.

it doesn't matter that people say it's ludicrous, we still refuse to admit.

why does our heart ache when we are grieved?
why do tears flow involuntarily?
how could century old memories be played so vividly in our minds?
how is it that we can feel time come to a standstill?
im baffled.
you smile despite your pain.

TSL, i love you.

Wednesday, 26 January 2011



不是猜不透, 是我不想猜了

Wednesday, 29 December 2010

sometimes i lose my way,
wonder if you've ever noticed each time i go astray?
goodbye for now, see you again somehow

been to the milky way and back
the constellations; Crater, Cancer, Orion ... i've tracked

i wished you were there
i wished upon the stars
i wish you well

Wednesday, 22 September 2010


i know this post is really really late, but here are some pictures i'd like to share

First stop: Nantra de Deluxe at Had Yao

there really wasn't much to do except to swim.
and since we don't really like swimming, this was what we did:

local food was really tasty, a home-cook flavoured meal

and when we were tired, we sat in our beach chairs ... relaxed

Next Stop: Sala Talay at Aonang

Azure seas
Island hopping

souvenirs we got the 4 of us to remember krabi by :)

krabi, we'll be back.

Saturday, 18 September 2010

happy birthday

thank you for baking the cake zhangmama
& my wonderful cg for spending time with me at brunch (:

Friday, 20 August 2010

拯救地球好累 雖然有些疲憊但我還是會
不要問我哭過了沒 因為超人不能流眼淚

Monday, 17 May 2010

practical magic

i don't know if you do remember this show, but one particular scene just happened to store itself in my head more than a good decade ago.

i was twelve and impressionable.

well being witches, one of the sisters decided that she would concoct the man of her dreams. a spell she created with the help of her sister, she formulated her soul mate in a porcelain bowl. if only it were true, i'd do the same

my recipe would read:
a dash of charm
a teaspoon of sweetness
an ounce of humour
a spoonful of generosity
a cup of courage
a pint of wisdom
bushels of love

and i'd make all sorts of recipes for all my girlfriends!

Sunday, 16 May 2010

amazing thailand

in the month on April.

if i ever look at you this way, it means i am starving
and a hungry sophie is an angry sophie.
or it could also mean you have done something really wrong...

finally! :)

what's thailand without shopping?!
our arms nearly fell apart by the time we got back to the hotel.
it was then i realised the importance of ....
no, it is not a man to carry all my buys
but a trolley bag! 
to lug everything around the next time we're in thailand

concentrate, yep getting there.... 
seriously, she couldn't slice the cheese even with that amount of concentration.
it was the lady behind her who helped.

our torturous tuk tuk journey, 
and the man behind it. the wheels...

did a bit of sight seeing despite the scorching sun,
and unbearable heat wave...

women seeking their destinies through card readings

dusty and hot... 
we used our shawls to cover our faces.

seeing red.

and our main purpose, 
to celebrate Thano's and Melly's marriage!

my dearest sister and i

Till next time!

Monday, 10 May 2010

paper planes

it's been a while!

this just came to me, and sling babe, this one's for you.

hey there stranger up in the sky
yes you with the mask disguise,
perhaps flying with a tank full of lies
but didn't you know you've caught my eye?
had the clouds grew heavy with rain that summer's day,
surely i wouldn't have came out to play.
foolish games not meant to have been engaged
their rules never written on a single page.
so it's time to bring my head back down,
plant my feet firmly on the ground.
goodbye aviator, you were after all merely a brilliant actor.

Wednesday, 24 March 2010


the picture doesn't do any justice, they are indescribably gorgeous real life!
i never knew i would want so much to own a gold piece until them... ;)

Sunday, 21 March 2010

sunday with sling

we spent the whole afternoon at mandarin gallery, crowd-free the way we like it :)

finally had a chance to dine at IPPUDO, and i'd have to say the ramen is quite yummy, 
but not good enough to queue for more than an hour.

afternoon tea at ARTEASTIQ,

rose tea for me :)

weekend's over for now!

half a heart

my bestfriend and i talked for hours like we never did before. and so we grumbled a little about how our age is creeping up slowly, unnoticeably... but surely. friends are getting married which led her to confess that she's finally looking for a partner. a headstrong woman as she is and one who doesn't trust men easily, what a breakthrough :) i pray she finds the one who loves her more than she loves him.

and so we exchanged what we felt is the most important characteristic we look for in an ideal partner;
sling: a good listener
for me: trustworthiness
girls are simple, really.
so meanwhile as we wait for someone to come by and complete the other half of our hearts, we're workaholics :D

Friday, 19 March 2010



 i love you for the practical reasons in my life such as;
without you, i would never have known how to shop for clothes. :X

Wednesday, 17 March 2010

the monday we met

my highest call, my greatest call is loving You.

You chose the cross You chose me
surrendered your life You chose me

though i did not deserve you chose me

i choose to love just as You chose me
i put You first as You first love me

i'll treasure your grace as You died for me

First Love - Abundant Life Church

it's all about the choices we make that depicts our lives. i chose You.
thank You for choosing me right from the start :)

Thursday, 11 March 2010

the city of bangkok

weeeeeeeeee i'm really excited about my upcoming trip to Thailand on the thirty-first. we'll be planning our itinerary next week. really hope that sling would wanna go site-seeing with me :)

the last time i visited was a decade ago, vaguely remember how it was like... although HongKong would be my first short holiday choice, but a friend of ours is getting married there, so we're heading to thailand!

plus i have 2 nights free stay at Swissotel, Nai Lert Park. Sometimes i like that i work in a hotel, to enjoy such privileges :)

(minimal) shopping here i come!
im sleepy. good night world!

Monday, 8 March 2010


i wish i had hair like hers. so the next time you see me, and i look unkempt,
you'll know my attempt has failed.

by the pier

sunday was a day filled with overwhelming emotions. probably explains why i still can't sleep...

and so i started to sketch (which i haven't done so in years, hence the disproportionate lines)
nevertheless, it was fun and therapeutic : )

i think an ideal amusement park should be built by a pier, an endless boardwalk that leads to the sea. the rides overlooking an expanse of water... but oh well since they don't have such a place in singapore, i've decided to paint an amusement park on my bedroom walls!

although i think it's more than a tad bit ambitious, i'll just have to wait till i've got the extra time. i'll start with the carousel soon (i hope)!

Sunday, 7 March 2010